people who make you feel better about yourself when you’re sad are so important
|friend:||*whispering* if you're stupid say "what"|
|OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST|
|I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME|
|SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.|
|JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.|
if my life was a movie, obviously it would be a porn movie, because i just get fucked up
i never really liked
until i found out
what it tastes like
when you write it in frosting
on top of a cake
*gets down on one knee* will you please give me the wifi password?
'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.
Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead
Just fucking tell her. Right now. This is your sign.